From a forwarded e-mail from my uncle and it reasonates very, very true for me for most part.. except her opinion on Israelis' "quick fuses." Of course, she's older than me so...
The Luckiest Jews In The World
_____
By:Caroline B. Glick Wednesday, April 23, 2008
_____
I just published a collection<http://www.israelbooks.com/bookDetails.asp?book=659&catId=1&gclid=CMuU5vLO15ICFQQPuwodSyKb5w> of my essays in English. Each time I am asked if I amalso releasing the volume in Hebrew I feel a pain deep inside me when Ianswer that no, right now, my publisher is only interested in an Englishedition. Indeed it is a shame because I wrote most of the essays in Hebrewas well.
Writing in Hebrew is a qualitatively different experience than writing inEnglish. Hebrew is a more compact language than English. It has fewer wordsand the words it has are denser and more flexible than English words. A1,200-word essay in Hebrew will be 1,800 words in English.
This is a mechanical difference. But there are deeper distinctions as well.One level beyond the mechanics is the multiple meanings of Hebrew words. Thedensity of meaning in Hebrew is a writer's dream. Nearly anyone can imbue aseemingly simple sentence with multiple, generally complementary meaningssimply by choosing a specific verb, verb form, noun or adjective. Thesedouble, triple and even quadruple meanings of one word are a source ofunbounded joy for a writer. To take just one example, the Hebrew word"shevet" means returning and it also means sitting. And it is also a homonymfor club - as in billy club - and for tribe.
In 2005, the IDF named the operation expelling the Israeli residents of Gazaand Northern Samaria "Shevet Achim," or returning or sitting with brothers.But it also sounded like it was making a distinction between tribesmen andbrothers. And it also sounded like "clubbing brothers."
As this one example demonstrates, one joyful consequence of the uniquedensity of the Hebrew language is that satirical irony comes easily to eventhe most dour and unpoetic writers.
For a Jew, knowing, speaking and writing Hebrew is an intimate experience.This is particularly so for those of us whose mother tongue is not Hebrew -because as the secrets of the language slowly reveal themselves to us wefeel we are discovering ourselves.
Hebrew encapsulates the entirety of the Jewish story. Modern Hebrew inparticular is an eclectic amalgamation of classical Hebrew, Yiddishisms, andexpressions from the Sephardic Diaspora experience. Greek, Roman, Aramaic,Turkish, Arabic and English expressions meld seamlessly into the stream ofwords. It is not simply that it is the language of the Bible. Hebrew is alsoan expression of the unique culture of a small, proud, often besieged, oftenconquered and permeable people.
Its power to explain that cultural experience and that historical baggage issomething that often leaves a newly initiated member of the Hebrew-speakingworld gasping in a mixture of disbelief and relief. It is unbelievable thata language can be so immediately and unselfconsciously expressive offeelings that have traversed millennia. Understanding its power as a tool ofexpressing the Jewish condition is one of the most gratifying discoveries aJew can make.
But the experience of speaking in Hebrew and of living in Hebrew isincomplete when it is not experienced in Israel. It is one thing to pray ina synagogue in Hebrew or even to speak regular Hebrew outside of Israel. Theformer is a spiritual duty and a communal experience. The latter is a socialor educational experience. But speaking Hebrew in Israel is a completeexperience. Hebrew localizes the Jewishness, Judaism and Jews. It anchors usto the Land of Israel. Taken together, the Hebrew language and the Land ofIsrael stabilize a tradition and make the Jewish people whole.
I write all of this as a means of explaining why a Jew in the Diaspora,particularly the United States, would want to live in Israel. LeavingAmerica is difficult on several levels. In my own experience, it involvedphysically separating from my entire family. It also involved cutting myselfoff from my language - English - and immersing myself completely in a tongueI had yet to master. Beyond that, it meant leaving a country that had doneonly good for me and for the generations of my family who fled to Americafrom the pogroms in Eastern Europe at the turn of the twentieth century.
As someone who loves me told me 17 years ago as I packed my bags for anunknowable future, "People don't emigrate away from America. They beg tocome to its shores."
But would it be right to characterize leaving America as an act ofingratitude? Do Jews have to reject America in order to go to Israel? No, wedon't.
Coming to Israel is not rejecting America. It is embracing a choice tobecome whole in a way that life outside of Israel cannot provide. Thatdoesn't mean life cannot be fulfilling for a Jew outside of Israel. Millionsof Jews can attest to the fact. It certainly doesn't mean that life inIsrael is easier or safer or more lucrative than life is elsewhere.
Israel is a troublesome, hard, often irritating place. It is a young countrythat belongs to an ancient, eternal people who are all imperfect. Some Israelis, particularly those who today occupy the seats of power, are weakand irresponsible and often corrupt and self-serving.
Israelis have quick fuses. Among other things, this distinctively Israelirush to anger makes being stuck in rush hour traffic a bit like dancing awaltz in the middle of a shooting range. Then too, service is not a conceptthat most Israelis - particularly in service professions - are even vaguelyfamiliar with.
Beyond the general fallibility of Israelis, there are the wars and thehatred and the terror that make up so much of life in Israel. Beingsurrounded by enemies and living in the midst of jihad-crazed Arab states islike sitting on the edge of a volcano. And rather than acknowledge thedanger and contend with it, Israelis - frustratingly and dangerously - moreoften than not blame one another for the heat while ignoring its source.Yet once a Jew catches the Zionist bug, none of that is important.
Once a Jew allows himself or herself to feel the pull of our heritage, of ourlanguage and our land, the frustration, danger and hardship of living inIsrael seems like second nature - as natural as breathing in and out.
I recently moved to a home on the edge of a valley filled with forests andcarpeted by wildflowers. Every day I hike for an hour or two along thetrails below. A few days ago, as I walked late at night, I considered thedark and silent hills surrounding me and felt safe. They were liberated in1948.
As I stood for a moment, I thought to myself, "These hills have already beenconquered for you, by people better than yourself. Now it is your job tokeep them safe for the next generation. And it will be the next generation'sresponsibility to keep them safe for the following one."
The thought filled me with a sense of privilege and peace.
People ask me all the time why I insist on living in Israel. Usually I justshrug my shoulders and smile. I, a woman who makes my living from words,find myself speechless when challenged with this simple question.
I spend several months a year away from Israel working. But every time I goaway on a long trip, inevitably after three weeks or so, I begin to feelincomplete. I start to long for the smells of Israel. My ears ache to hearHebrew all around me. I want to go back so I can walk down the streets on Friday afternoons and smile at perfect strangers as we bid each other Shabbat Shalom.
Why do I live in Israel? Because Israel lives in me, as it lives in allJews. It is who we are. And those of us lucky enough to recognize this truthand embrace it in all its fullness and depth are the luckiest Jews in theworld.
Caroline Glick is deputy managing editor of The Jerusalem Post. Her JewishPress-exclusive column appears the last week of each month.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Article for Rothberg Register (Alumni Newsletter)
I will tell you now that I am indebted to all of the Israelis not just the selected few here for sharing their lives with me with excitement. These people shaped my perspective of Israel and now I see Israel as a complex, multilayered society of individuals, not as the “ Holy Land ” that American Jews see. In no way can American Jews and Israelis be considered as “one” people in which the concept that my seminar, “American Jew and Israeli Jew,” with Dr. Schmidt explored. Each new Israeli I met everywhere surprised me with their own opinions, personalities, backgrounds, and self-confidence of their identity as Israelis.
From mid-March to mid-April, I lived in a black-hat world down in Kiryat Wolfson in a rental apartment with my step-grandfather, Zev, and my grandma for a month. Zev currently describes himself as “just Jewish” but was very observant Orthodox when he lived in Jerusalem back in 1980s. In Israel , he transformed into that Orthodox that his friends in Jerusalem knew and that my grandma and I had never known. He went to the synagogue on Shabbat mornings. He wore a kippah 24/7. He insisted that Grandma and I observed kosher and customs strictly inside the apartment and in his presence. We socialized with his old Orthodox friends who made aliyah over the years. I gasped in amazement when I saw their walls littered with family photographs and listened to the wives’ matchmaking stories. One Shabbat, a friend told my Grandma at Mister Zol’s why his cart was filled with soda that his “wife was setting places for 25 people!” I had become so accustomed that when my dad came to visit and flipped on the TV on Shabbat, I got upset and left the room! Having a taste of their lives as a Reform Jew, I became more respectful and accepting of the Orthodox and it served me well for my Jerusalem ulpan roommates and close family friends of my other grandfather in Jerusalem.
In June, I spent 4 days in Haifa with a real Israeli family. The immigrant parents hardly spoke English and they had four children-3 daughters and one son around my age. Everyone except for the son was very secular and only kept kosher out of tradition, not because of the Torah. On Shabbat we drove out to Caesarea while the son stayed home. There, I heard a mix of Arabic, Hebrew, and English chattering and laughing among 30 or so family members of the Iraqi clan. Skewers of tasty chicken and beef piled high, more delicious homemade falafels than I could count, and the tables strained under tons of rice among other food. The warm atmosphere was so unlike I had seen in America- it was not feeling of a family reunion but a family tightly connected by regular gatherings and over-involvement. In addition, the mother became my new definition of “Jewish mother.” She would cook endlessly, put huge portions on my plate (“because I need to be big and strong!”), doted on me, and watch every movement that I made around the apartment. Nevertheless my Hebrew improved thanks to her.
Between the two extremes, I found my happy medium with my host Israeli-American family who lived on a kibbutz in Herzliya. I saw them every few weeks or so and stayed for Shabbat and Shavuot. The mother, Linda, an American olah, and I used to take walks around the kibbutz and picked avocados, lemons, and other fruits from the orchards while talking about issues and my questions about Israel that I could trust her to give me an unbiased view. She and her Israeli husband, Shlomi, looked after me as one of their own children. I hung out with the children just like any other friends of mine. The kibbutz’s atmosphere gave me chances to reflect upon my experiences in Israel and how I changed every time I visit these people over seven months.
When Linda, Shlomi, and I parted at the airport, they looked at me with such pride and tears in their eyes. Remembering the first time I met them on my first night in Israel , they said I came a very long way and were extremely proud that I managed to survive the rumbles and tumbles of this country. As excited I was to go back to America , I had an emotional breakdown during the take off. I had fallen in love with the world that I created for myself in Israel through difference experiences that I encountered.
From mid-March to mid-April, I lived in a black-hat world down in Kiryat Wolfson in a rental apartment with my step-grandfather, Zev, and my grandma for a month. Zev currently describes himself as “just Jewish” but was very observant Orthodox when he lived in Jerusalem back in 1980s. In Israel , he transformed into that Orthodox that his friends in Jerusalem knew and that my grandma and I had never known. He went to the synagogue on Shabbat mornings. He wore a kippah 24/7. He insisted that Grandma and I observed kosher and customs strictly inside the apartment and in his presence. We socialized with his old Orthodox friends who made aliyah over the years. I gasped in amazement when I saw their walls littered with family photographs and listened to the wives’ matchmaking stories. One Shabbat, a friend told my Grandma at Mister Zol’s why his cart was filled with soda that his “wife was setting places for 25 people!” I had become so accustomed that when my dad came to visit and flipped on the TV on Shabbat, I got upset and left the room! Having a taste of their lives as a Reform Jew, I became more respectful and accepting of the Orthodox and it served me well for my Jerusalem ulpan roommates and close family friends of my other grandfather in Jerusalem.
In June, I spent 4 days in Haifa with a real Israeli family. The immigrant parents hardly spoke English and they had four children-3 daughters and one son around my age. Everyone except for the son was very secular and only kept kosher out of tradition, not because of the Torah. On Shabbat we drove out to Caesarea while the son stayed home. There, I heard a mix of Arabic, Hebrew, and English chattering and laughing among 30 or so family members of the Iraqi clan. Skewers of tasty chicken and beef piled high, more delicious homemade falafels than I could count, and the tables strained under tons of rice among other food. The warm atmosphere was so unlike I had seen in America- it was not feeling of a family reunion but a family tightly connected by regular gatherings and over-involvement. In addition, the mother became my new definition of “Jewish mother.” She would cook endlessly, put huge portions on my plate (“because I need to be big and strong!”), doted on me, and watch every movement that I made around the apartment. Nevertheless my Hebrew improved thanks to her.
Between the two extremes, I found my happy medium with my host Israeli-American family who lived on a kibbutz in Herzliya. I saw them every few weeks or so and stayed for Shabbat and Shavuot. The mother, Linda, an American olah, and I used to take walks around the kibbutz and picked avocados, lemons, and other fruits from the orchards while talking about issues and my questions about Israel that I could trust her to give me an unbiased view. She and her Israeli husband, Shlomi, looked after me as one of their own children. I hung out with the children just like any other friends of mine. The kibbutz’s atmosphere gave me chances to reflect upon my experiences in Israel and how I changed every time I visit these people over seven months.
When Linda, Shlomi, and I parted at the airport, they looked at me with such pride and tears in their eyes. Remembering the first time I met them on my first night in Israel , they said I came a very long way and were extremely proud that I managed to survive the rumbles and tumbles of this country. As excited I was to go back to America , I had an emotional breakdown during the take off. I had fallen in love with the world that I created for myself in Israel through difference experiences that I encountered.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Who's a Jew?!
There was an article in NYT about two weeks ago revealing the whole thing about Israeli Orthodox rabbis and Jews trying to get married in Israel. It was mostly about non-Israelis who got Israeli citizenship because someone in their family was Jewish but then they find out that they can't get married unless their maternal grandmother was Jewish.
I mean, who still has all those documents? It would be totally awesome to learn more about my grandmothers' families in Russia but how the heck am I supposed to find some kind of proof if it was all the way back to 1800s? I've learned while in Israel in my class with Dr. Schmidt and from Nate that everyone really has their own definition of being a Jew- who's good and who's bad. There's just no wrong answer in Judaism. But I'm not sure if I can accept the Russian Jews' biazzare definition of who's a Jew- they say that anyone's a Jew if they feel "Jewish." Even those who converted are most definitely considered Jew. If you marry a goy, and they feel Jewish, then they're Jewish.
I'm disappointed in the article though- they didn't include more Israeli perspective, especially the sabras. It would be such a huge offense against the Israelis to be told that they're not Jewish than for the American Jews because for god's sake, they live in the HOLY LAND. For them Israeli = Jewish = Israeli. It would be like telling an Italian that they're not Catholic.
Some people asked me if it was really true and usual in Israel... of course it is. You can't go by a week without hearing something relating to that question of "Who is a Jew?" The debate is just as hot as it is here, especially in Jerusalem.
It's what makes living in Israel such an amazing place. You're always in the face of controversy (though it does get tiring at times). You have Jews from all over the world who somehow managed to get their Israeli citizenship through one way or another. You can observe how Jews live their lives differently from others. It's a picture of the Diaspora today.
I've decided NOT to go back to Israel for graduate school. I've been advised against it for several reasons with one of them being the loss of funding at Hebrew University in areas that I want to study in. Sure, I'm there for two years but what's going to happen to the faculty? Things can happen fast. Also I realize that I don't study very well when there's a lot of distractions, especially warm weather. I'm from the cold so hanging out on the beach is like absolute paradise for me. So it is much easier for me to just to go back to Israel when I've finished my PhD and can work. How I managed to do well in my classes is still beyond me even though I did have to repeat that Aleph course (And course, by then, July got to be pretty hot!!). But I can't see myself struggling like that for two years. Cold weather really keeps me inside.
But I will be going back this summer to spend a little time with people and take ulpan again. I will either be in Haifa or Hebrew U. I think I want to try Haifa for a change and it works in my schedule better. I'll miss my friends at Hebrew U but I'll be in Jerusalem a week before so I'll get to see them. Also by going to Haifa, I can spend my afternoons at the beach! Also I can sort of juts get away from the haredim who totally clog up the bus routes.
I mean, who still has all those documents? It would be totally awesome to learn more about my grandmothers' families in Russia but how the heck am I supposed to find some kind of proof if it was all the way back to 1800s? I've learned while in Israel in my class with Dr. Schmidt and from Nate that everyone really has their own definition of being a Jew- who's good and who's bad. There's just no wrong answer in Judaism. But I'm not sure if I can accept the Russian Jews' biazzare definition of who's a Jew- they say that anyone's a Jew if they feel "Jewish." Even those who converted are most definitely considered Jew. If you marry a goy, and they feel Jewish, then they're Jewish.
I'm disappointed in the article though- they didn't include more Israeli perspective, especially the sabras. It would be such a huge offense against the Israelis to be told that they're not Jewish than for the American Jews because for god's sake, they live in the HOLY LAND. For them Israeli = Jewish = Israeli. It would be like telling an Italian that they're not Catholic.
Some people asked me if it was really true and usual in Israel... of course it is. You can't go by a week without hearing something relating to that question of "Who is a Jew?" The debate is just as hot as it is here, especially in Jerusalem.
It's what makes living in Israel such an amazing place. You're always in the face of controversy (though it does get tiring at times). You have Jews from all over the world who somehow managed to get their Israeli citizenship through one way or another. You can observe how Jews live their lives differently from others. It's a picture of the Diaspora today.
I've decided NOT to go back to Israel for graduate school. I've been advised against it for several reasons with one of them being the loss of funding at Hebrew University in areas that I want to study in. Sure, I'm there for two years but what's going to happen to the faculty? Things can happen fast. Also I realize that I don't study very well when there's a lot of distractions, especially warm weather. I'm from the cold so hanging out on the beach is like absolute paradise for me. So it is much easier for me to just to go back to Israel when I've finished my PhD and can work. How I managed to do well in my classes is still beyond me even though I did have to repeat that Aleph course (And course, by then, July got to be pretty hot!!). But I can't see myself struggling like that for two years. Cold weather really keeps me inside.
But I will be going back this summer to spend a little time with people and take ulpan again. I will either be in Haifa or Hebrew U. I think I want to try Haifa for a change and it works in my schedule better. I'll miss my friends at Hebrew U but I'll be in Jerusalem a week before so I'll get to see them. Also by going to Haifa, I can spend my afternoons at the beach! Also I can sort of juts get away from the haredim who totally clog up the bus routes.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Culture Shock and Democracy
I had a class dinner tonight for my Latin American history. There was one girl who's Brazilian and grew up in Brazil and then moved to the US. She goes back every summer and I think she studied abroad there too.
So she pretty much dominated the entire dinner conversation of her experiences in Brazil. Now I understand how people might get annoyed by all of my talking about Israel- but the thing is... she doesn't get to the point or punch line as quickly as she should. For example, she went on for like good 15 minutes about anti-American/Bush rallies and how she had never been so frightened in her life.
While I was annoyed by all her dominance, I did learn quite a bit. What she had to share about Brazil made me think how SO different Israel is in terms of attitudes and foreign policy. In Israel, the Israelis love Americans and President Bush (much to my own disgust). I was indeed fortunate to be in a supportive environment as a Jew and as an American. Also how different America is from many countries.
The other thing is that when she talked about her reactions, her words basically bounced right off me. Partly because I can relate to some of the experiences, especially passionated rallies and demonstrations. But also I've gotten so used to it all that nothing in Israel shocks me. Suicide bombers? Instant racial profiling? Huge parties on the streets and it's not for New Years? All the garbage everywhere? Israelis living like millionaires abroad while frugal at home? No reaction -it's all part of the culture and society.
It's unbelievable to me, though, how passionate and nationalistic the citizens are compared to the Americans here. Democracy is so precious in Israel, Brazil, France, et cetera that when you look at the Americans, it's quite shocking how they take their freedom for complete granted. While I didn't get a chance to fill out my absentee ballot for the Democratic primaries, I am very much encouraging of everyone registering to vote and just VOTE. I'm making sure that every single one of my friends will vote in November- we've seen how close elections have gotten since 2000. I think our terrible presidency and the Democratic Congress turnover in 2006 really reminded Americans of how important it is not to take democracy for granted. You neglect your rights and freedom, you're hurting your own country. It is very hard for Americans to read about Iraq, Afghanistan, etc. and not understand how important freedom is to these people in these newly "democratic" countries because we've lived in it for too long and comfortably.
It's a real shame that Americans can't speak up any more than they can really potentially do. I mean, over 150,000 Israelis showed up at a rally in Tel Aviv for Olmert to resign and that's hellava a lot of people for a country of over 6 million versus if 50,000 showed up in New York City for Darfur in a country of over 30 million. Lame if you ask me.
And that's related to the "anti-intellectual" movement going on... Americans getting "Dumb and Dumber" as in a NYT article today. Just not politically or globally aware of what's happening. I still can't over how so few people can locate anything on a map.
So she pretty much dominated the entire dinner conversation of her experiences in Brazil. Now I understand how people might get annoyed by all of my talking about Israel- but the thing is... she doesn't get to the point or punch line as quickly as she should. For example, she went on for like good 15 minutes about anti-American/Bush rallies and how she had never been so frightened in her life.
While I was annoyed by all her dominance, I did learn quite a bit. What she had to share about Brazil made me think how SO different Israel is in terms of attitudes and foreign policy. In Israel, the Israelis love Americans and President Bush (much to my own disgust). I was indeed fortunate to be in a supportive environment as a Jew and as an American. Also how different America is from many countries.
The other thing is that when she talked about her reactions, her words basically bounced right off me. Partly because I can relate to some of the experiences, especially passionated rallies and demonstrations. But also I've gotten so used to it all that nothing in Israel shocks me. Suicide bombers? Instant racial profiling? Huge parties on the streets and it's not for New Years? All the garbage everywhere? Israelis living like millionaires abroad while frugal at home? No reaction -it's all part of the culture and society.
It's unbelievable to me, though, how passionate and nationalistic the citizens are compared to the Americans here. Democracy is so precious in Israel, Brazil, France, et cetera that when you look at the Americans, it's quite shocking how they take their freedom for complete granted. While I didn't get a chance to fill out my absentee ballot for the Democratic primaries, I am very much encouraging of everyone registering to vote and just VOTE. I'm making sure that every single one of my friends will vote in November- we've seen how close elections have gotten since 2000. I think our terrible presidency and the Democratic Congress turnover in 2006 really reminded Americans of how important it is not to take democracy for granted. You neglect your rights and freedom, you're hurting your own country. It is very hard for Americans to read about Iraq, Afghanistan, etc. and not understand how important freedom is to these people in these newly "democratic" countries because we've lived in it for too long and comfortably.
It's a real shame that Americans can't speak up any more than they can really potentially do. I mean, over 150,000 Israelis showed up at a rally in Tel Aviv for Olmert to resign and that's hellava a lot of people for a country of over 6 million versus if 50,000 showed up in New York City for Darfur in a country of over 30 million. Lame if you ask me.
And that's related to the "anti-intellectual" movement going on... Americans getting "Dumb and Dumber" as in a NYT article today. Just not politically or globally aware of what's happening. I still can't over how so few people can locate anything on a map.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
You Know Jokes
You Know You've Been in Israel for Too Long When...
1) You don't mind paying $4 for a coffee drink but cringe over the produce prices in the US.
2) ) You consider buying Naot or Teva... and buy 'em. They have no purpose in the US, especially in cities.
3) You don't follow a trend. You're own trendsetter.
4) You can count more than the number of fingers on your hand of people you know who are in the Army and you know their ranks and what they basically did.
5) You ignore the soldiers everywhere.
6) You ignore the security and if you have to pay attention, you don't bother smiling.
7) Your American friends are astonished when you post a Facebook profile picture of yourself in a bikini.
8) You'll swim out a little "too" far out than the lifeguards' liking and you insist that it's perfectly safe because you've done it in Tel Aviv.
9) You're not shocked by the teenagers playing hooky in June. Kids really work too hard. Kids should be kids.
10) You insist dating men 3+ years older than you because they're more mature.
11) You detest the haredim and blame them for all the society's troubles.
12) You plan your wedding in Cyprus or elsewhere, just not in Israel.
13) You're not shocked by the massive amount of food on the table, including 100 falafels, several big bowls of hummus, pitas stacked high...
14) Who needs peanut butter? Hummus is your best friend. It's healthier anyway.
15) You order cappuccino on your first coffee run back in the US because the lattes at Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts are actually too sweet! Hold off the frapps.
16) You stop eating Hershey's or Ghiradelli's because nothing beats Max Brenner's and other Israeli chocolates.
17) You schedule days off on every Jewish holiday, even ones that are not observed by American Jews such as Lag B'Omer, Shavout, Purim... because it's a national holiday in Israel! Then you realize that they eat up your vacation times.
18) You light Shabbat candles and say the kaddish and bless the challah out of tradition, not because you believe in Shabbat.
19) You actually like hiking.
20) You tailgate other drivers and communicate through a code of honking.
21) You purposely take side streets in hopes of getting to your destination faster than a bunch of stoplights ahead that could potentially delay you.
22) You're not bothered that you have to block someone else's parking spot because there is just no where else to park. Let them deal with it.
23) Your car's got some dents. And you hope that your insurance company doesn't find out.. really it's just a bump...
24) You get all excited to learn a foreign language off the television.
25) You call birthright Israel trips "Taglit"
26) You yell in order to win your arguments.
27) You push, shove, or cut your way to the front of the line. Time's a-wasting.
28) There's no such thing as the best PM in the history of Israel. Government is practically irrelevant until it does something right.
29) You want to join the Army because it's the thing to do to defend your country against the Arabs, not because the Torah says so.
30) Otherwise, you'll just send your children to the Army to fulfill your duty.
31) Your children's names won't be Hebrew. They'll be Israeli.
32) You consider voting the next US presidential election on the basis of whether the candidate supports the existence of the State of Israel or not, regardless of his other proposals.
33) You don't use a mop to clean the floors.
34) You don't give up an argument.
35) You mourn with the rest of the country on Yom Ha'Zikron even though you don't know any of the fallen soldiers personally.
36) You don't talk of the "fallen soldiers."
37) You long for Marizpan's chocolate rugalechim over anything else.
38) You're shocked on how tasteless non-kosher meat is. Or how "creamy' hummus is in America.
39) You don't miss the taste of pork or shellfish.
40) You debate over who has the best hummus, falafel and schwarma of all Israel.
41) Your kitchen is never without produce, hummus, pitas, Israeli salad, cheese, and yogurt. And chocolate.
42) Sleeping out in the desert or on the beach is not weird. In fact, if there's no rain predicted for the next 3 months, there's nothing to worry.
43) You avoid the beach between 12 to 3 PM. You actually do!
44) Kibbutzim is not really the same as told in the old stories of Israel.
45) You're not surprised that your high-tech job interview is at a kibbutz.
46) You moan about the black hats takeover in Jerusalem and driving up the housing prices.
47) Learning Hebrew is not painful. Only painful when the time spent in classroom is reduced to one hour a week instead of 10-20 hours a week.
48) You have to remind yourself every so often of the '67 war, the last greatest Israeli war.
49) You confront everyone. You make sure no one questions your actions. They have to come up with something concrete otherwise there's no room for assumptions.
50) You rush through everything- traffic, airport lines, in the shuk, etc.
51) You can actually name all the Prime Ministers and rank them in order by national popularity, starting with... Ehud Olmert and Golda Meier as the worst. Menechem Begin is currently the most favored but the blame goes to Sharon for '82 fiasco.
52) You're playing Jewish Geography game 24/7
53) You're considering a visit to the Department of Interior to get that aliyah form and changing your return flight to say... Christmas or next summer.
54) You forget very basic English words because you've replaced them with Hebrew in perfect Israeli accent.
55) You actually schedule time in your day/night to haggle with cab drivers because it takes at least three cabs before someone gives up.
56) You calculate your travel time in the hours leading up to Shabbat to figure out if you can make the last buses back without getting stranded.
57) Cats are the real pests.
58) What cat urine?
59) You don't mind standing up on the bus the entire trip even though you're paying the same fare as those sitting down.
60) You drink espresso only.
61) You forget to say "please" and "Thank you."
62) You treat the food dishes as if they're communal by placing your own fork and fingers in them to serve yourself instead of the serving utensil.
63) You turn up your nose at all the luxury in the US- for goodness sake, who really needs all that?
64) Strikes don't shock you. In fact, you consider joining in because democracy is really precious.
65) You yearn to be part of that kind of majority.
66) Whether you actually like it or not, your Jewish identity has become bit more nationalistic.
67) Your grandmother lost her title "The Jewish Mother."
68) Israel is HOME. Not your parents house.
69) That said, you make sure to spend any free time lasting longer than 2 weeks in Israel.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)