Monday, June 28, 2010

The Wind Blows Again

Okay, it's official. I am a graduate. I am in the Real World. I am wading my way through the World of Social Media. It's a little scary because there is a LOT information out there. At the same time, it's incredibly fascinating to see what other people have found and written about. I am quite good with computers (If anything, I've earned my title of being the Computer Expert in my family back from my dad).

Now, what to do about this blog? Do I give it up because the early parts of this blog contains a lot of personal information and identifiable photographs? Or do I set up a new one? Thing is that I want to focus on Jewish journeys and addressing Jewish issues and I want my readers to be able to see how I've progressed in my Jewish journey. While my Jewish journey started long before my study abroad experience in Israel, there is an evolution happening as the reader peruses through my entries. By tracing my Jewish journey, one can get a sense of how I think and see the world at the moment. The reader gets a better sense of how I find no end in absorbing information all around me when I am around Jews and my awareness has increased in a way that now I am giving a lot of things second thoughts that I would not have noticed before.

Over the last few weeks, I am beginning to find out what kind of person I want to be and how I want to define my educational and mentoring role as a Jew. I am highly aware of the demographics that Steven Cohen and other demographers and sociologists published and surveys that they conducted on Generation Y. The methods that used to work back in early 2000s are now not quite working because of contradictory factors at play. On one hand, young people thrive on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and other social media outlets where they can create "virtual" connections, expect others to know what they're up to, and join groups with thousands of unknown faces (In other words, actions that are earning them the label "Generation Me"). It's basically impersonal in a sense that things are being created by the computer rather than a human connection. For example, if I joined the cause for breast cancer and then receive a mass invitation to attend something, it's just... huh? I don't know anyone. At the same time, young people can create highly personalized profiles that reflect their true colors (Yes, a study was done and discovered that people on Facebook tend to keep their profile more real than MySpace).

On the other hand, young people do crave intimacy. The Internet has been a godsend for everyone in terms of staying in touch and meeting others like them but it has a negative effect. When one receives a mass invitation , who is going to care if he or she shows up or not? Even the posters in the hallways suddenly look.... unattractive. No difference from seeing a tweet on Twitter about a particular event. It's been tweeted to... what? 100 followers? Okay, so there's an assumption at play that if at least 50 other followers show up, then no one's going to notice. It's really one of the downsides of being part of this generation.

So the marketing through social media needs to change for young people. As much we want to *cringe* at the thought of exacerbating narcissism by reaching out to individuals on on customized basis, it works to write a personalized e-mail or send a direct text to their cellphones. We have to indulge to their needs and desires.

That said, this is how American Judaism has become. Like Facebook. We're aware that there are at least 5.1 million Jews in this country and the logic dictates that if one can just choose to be uninvolved, then nobody's going to notice. There's also the element of growing Orthodoxy with their large families that's, as some argue in Israel, preserving Jewish population. So who cares? We do have to kick and scream and pull those young people back into the community. We have to convince them that they do have the leadership skills and resources to led the next generation of American Jews. We also have to work with them to begin or revive their Jewish journey to find out who they are as Jews and how they want to define their future roles as American Jews, the providers of world Jewry?

Therefore, I believe that I will do some revising on this blog and just keep it, instead of trying to run two similar blogs and cross-post them. Also, thinking about how I've changed my purpose of using the blog over the last few years, why not let this blog reflect my Jewish journey?

And the title Nefesh b'Israel will remain the same because my heart and soul is truly in Israel and that's a big part of my Jewish identity.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Children's rights out of the picture

A fantastic blog post focusing on the Haredi commmunity's ignorance

A terrific analysis by Ruth Eglash of Jerusalem Post (actually balanced for a right-wing paper)

We talk about equal rights for women, blacks, minorities, people with disabilities, etc, etc. But it never occurred to me until the Ashkenazi ultra-Orthodox people (The Slonim sect) brought this particular case to the Israeli Supreme Court. In sum, the Ashkenzai parents have pulled their daughters out of school because they did not want them "mixing" with others of non-European origin. And Sephardic parents complained that their daughters were being ethnically segregated. This school was financially supported by the State of Israel's Educational Ministry, thus a public school that's supported by Israeli taxpayers. The way journalists had portrayed this incident in Emmanuel, particularly when they described how a Sephardic girl, just because she cannot pronounce "elohei" in Ashkenazic dialect, could not attend the same school as other children despite the government mandate that schools must be open to all. (I would be horrified if this was the truth- right down to speech and dialect?!)

Wow. Just wow. Take out Ashkenazi/Sephardic traditional differences for a minute. These are children that we're talking about. Every child has a right to education, access to knowledge. No matter what. So what if the child has to learn about the science of evolution when s/he has been taught the story of Creation at home. Generally and ultimately, reasonable parents let children decide for themselves how to make of the world around them. Giving children access to a variety of information is the key to critical thinking development. But if a parent is anything like one of those fathers who preferred to go to jail than to comply, then how would one expect his children to develop necessary skills to survive the world? The fathers' argument is simple as this: The world must be strictly confined to exactly what the Torah and Talmud says that every Jew must learn. Children must be raised pure and free of sins. They should not be exposed to the "evils" of secularism and western civilization.

What really infuriates me about this issue is how some parents will purposely keep their children at home to "protect" them from outside sins and evils just so they don't "mix" with the other group. It's also not "Jewish" to separate children by their ethnicity through walls and dress code. What does it exactly teach children about other people? Judaism is an inclusive religion.

Interestingly, it has just been agreed upon that the fathers are released from jail early based on agreement among leaders, including the rabbi of the Slonim community. For the last three days of school year, the school will be unified and the students will learn all about unity. The leaders made a case on the behalf of Ashkenazi parents that it was important to keep the haredi community unified and to keep this particular sect from breaking off. In response, as Jerusalem Post reported, the community will set up its own school with its own funding. I'm miffed.

Jerusalem Post also mentioned that demonstrators held a rally in Tel Aviv to support the High Court's rule against ethnic discrimination in Israeli schools (those paid for by Israeli taxpayers) and on Minister of Knesset vowed to introduce a bill banning ethnic discrimination in Israeli schools.

But, where were the children in this deal? The agreement wasn't made on the children's behalf but rather on the adults'. No one said, "We are going to do these unity classes for the sake of children, not just because of the deal. Children need to learn to get along with each other... blah blah." Instead, the leaders will grumble through the last three days of school just to comply with the court order and then set up their own school over the summer. Is there a lesson to be learned from this whole ordeal? Apparently not from the way things are turning out.

The Ashkenazi children clearly are going to miss out valuable development and skills lessons by attending ethnically segregated schools at their parents' request. They will grow up to be like their parents who just don't seem to have conflict resolution skills or deeper understanding of other groups' customs. Otherwise it's completely racism. I hate to say this, but, haven't these parents learned anything from Nazi Germany?

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Long Skirts Vs. Bikinis

I just finished reading Jean Sasson's Princess: A True Story Behind the Veil in Saudi Arabia. I was very stunned when I closed the book. I almost didn't even want to close the book because if I did, then it would be like as if I was ignoring Sultana's pleads and message to the world about women rights abuse in Saudi Arabia. It was truly unbelievable and I do implore you to read it.

One of the things that interested me was Sultana's shopping trip to acquire her first veil and abayah (the long, black overcoat). Saudi women begin covering themselves when they receive their first period. Sultana was so defiant that she refused to tell her father about it and everyone around her kept it a secret. After several months, she was talked into it and get it over with. So she went shopping with three friends, including her father's newest wife (who was just a year younger than Sultana at tender age of 16). She entered in the store as a "child" and left as a "woman."

Sultana was amazed at her transformation. She thought wearing a veil and abaya was oppressive to women. But when she put them on, she felt a sense of freedom. And a bit sexy because she would be teasing men with her shapeless outfit, leaving them to their imagination what her body might look like. She also felt protected as well. Soon, she came to accept these "oppressive" pieces as part of her life and abide by the Islamic laws. How she handled the veil and the veil's role in creating dynamics for the rest of the story were very interesting.

It really made me draw parallels with Orthodoxy. I looked to my experience. In Orthodoxy, while women do not wear veil, they cover most of their legs and arms. Married women are supposed to wear wigs or cover their hair for that hair is quite lustful. Sexy clothes are not encouraged so many were pretty plain clothes (which is why sometimes it sucks to shop in Jerusalem).

I donned long skirts and 3/4 sleeved tops in respect to my Orthodox hosts and the Western Wall. Quite reluctantly, because I felt it was all oppressive. Why should I not be able to show off my beautiful legs? And I was so short already and the long skirts made me feel even shorter. I grumbled inside and slouched my shoulders.

I soon began wearing my long skirts (and jeans!) on regular basis when I lived in Jerusalem because I was finding myself visiting the Old City quite often and walking through Orthodox neighborhoods by accident. At the same time, when I put on my shorter skirts, I felt something. Did I feel like a tourist for looking a bit out of place? That was my initial reaction. The flowing long skirts also felt more comfortable to wear in Israel's brutal summer heat. Maybe some comfort added the factor. I also became enamored by my roommate/friend Meredith's ability to find the most beautiful skirts (either in the US or Israel) and how she could pull off her modest outfits so gracefully (as a Mormon woman). I asked myself, was it possible to feel sexy and confident if I covered my legs? Meredith also had the most beautiful, long, red hair one could ever see and it was just enough to attract attention. I just sat there on Shabbat, in my long skirts, just wondering what to make of all this modesty.

The following summer, I threw on my long skirts with pride. Since I was living in Haifa, I only packed for what I needed in Jerusalem and wore my modest clothes there. No jeans. No short skirts. I noticed the transformation in my behavior and appearance and how others responded. I held my head high and walked tall. I felt no shame for that I didn't feel anyone staring at me for dressing inappropriately. I felt freedom in going anywhere in Jerusalem that I wanted, including the Muslim Quarter in the Old City. I felt that as long I chose the most beautiful skirts, I was sure to gain a different kind of attention. The kind of attention focusing on my good taste, pretty face, and intelligence.

I clearly felt a difference when I wandered about in Tel Aviv and Haifa in my shorts. Although I dressed like other young Israeli women, I felt a silent fear inside that I could be viewed in a different manner than in Jerusalem. I have, more than once, been offered smiles, free apples, and small talks by Israeli men (because I had terrific Israeli accent when speaking common phrases and numbers, no one suspected that I was an American).... because I was wearing my bikini trying to purchase a snack? I wanted to run back to the beach and lay my towel next to other women as to blend in. Still, was it because of the way I dressed? Or was it because of me as an American and American women having a notorious reputation among Israeli men? I had no idea so I focused on remaining quiet and speaking in Hebrew when possible. Or if I had to speak in English, I needed to demonstrate strong confidence and understanding of Israeli social norms.

Is dressing conservatively that terrible? One Jewish mother, a 1970's child, recently wrote a blog entry about her half-Muslim, half-Jewish daughter choosing to wear a hjiab in favor of modesty and respecting Allah. The question was- which was truly more sexually liberating and comfortable to wear, wearing modest clothes or a bikini? (Presumably that a woman can feel confident in both ways)

Even now, it's still not an easy answer because we live in a world that is still full of gender inequality. It is up to the women to balance that scale and in their clothing choices regardless of our religious and cultural backgrounds.

From what I can gather from Princess, women need to and should reveal their beautiful faces to men if men ever want to feel that love and see these black clad figures as breathing, living human beings, not just sexual toys. I should be very grateful that I belong to a religion and culture that don't blow things out of proportion as much as Islam in Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan. Even if we want to complain about "female oppression" in Orthodox communities, we need to stop and think twice. But we can flap our tongues about Orthodox women's poor taste in clothes.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Reflections of Job Hunting in SF

In the last 5 weeks, I stayed in San Francisco with my grandparents in search for jobs. The month really flew and it was incredible in a sense how productive I was. I mean I was so productive that I actually was hard on myself for coming away from San Francisco without a job in hand. In a sense, I felt that I had failed even though deep down I knew that this was the reality- the job market sucks.

In the beginning, Zev made use of his contacts to set up informational meetings with some of the top people in the Jewish community. So I got to sit in front of Very Important People, including a museum director, a highly influential former museum director, and an executive director at one of the JCCs. I also got to speak with more people on the telephone in order for them to put in a good word for me and find other people to speak with. I had an opportunity to visit Jewish Vocational Services (JVS) downtown to ask questions about interviewing and find out about how to search for a job. As it turned out, I was already pretty much ahead (I already have Idealist.org, JewishJobs.com, AAM.org, and Hillel.org job pages on my bookmark toolbar that I click on everyday for new job postings).

As soon I started meeting people, I discovered a pattern. I am not going to say that they weren't too happy to have to give up some of their valuable time to meet with me only because Zev called them. Rather, I had to convince them that I was truly looking for a job with a very strong resume in my hand. Meeting with my thesis advisor clearly taught me to be prepared with thoughts and questions in order to make use of these people's valuable time so that they would be willing to help me out.

Zev often says the following speech: "I am calling to ask for a special favor. I have a granddaughter who just graduated from the University of Michigan with her masters in Judaic Studies/Jewish Studies. She is looking to go on for a doctorate in Jewish history. Right now she is looking for a job, so I am wondering if you could possibly meet with her?" Then he'll usually hand me the phone to speak to a complete stranger. I was forced to think on my feet! And avoid talking about getting a PhD in history because, really, I do want to take time off to get some field experience, especially that I am very interested in American Jewish History.

So... over the telephone, it usually meant I had to think up questions fast associated with THEIR organizations (Might it be JCC Association or something else) and create a sales pitch of my own. I am still refining it.

But in meetings, it's a different story. I immediately set myself apart from Zev and demonstrated that I had a very different attitude towards American Jewish community. It helped a lot that I was a very lovely and charming person as well. I tried to protray myself as a successful idealist who just wanted to help the community or public learn all about contemporary Judaism.

I often walked away with mixed emotions of hope, elation, and despair. Their positive impression of me gave me hope that there might be something for me down the road. I felt elated in making connections with these people who had terrific contacts in the Bay Area and elsewhere. Despair came to me when they told me that they didn't know of any job openings at the moment or near future.

I did improve my game each time because I wanted to strive for better, to be the best person possible. Type A personalities like me just never stop. I can't relax. I can't sit around and do nothing. I just have to be productive... if I'm not on a beach somewhere!

I have been working on my talks for why I want to work in a JCC or another Jewish organization. It was amazing to realize that in a way I didn't even need my degrees. I mean, what I learned in the classroom wouldn't necessarily translate to my job. All the skills and knowledge I attained for these jobs came from working in student organizations. No wonder why professors and college administrators admit that a lot of learning really takes places outside of the classroom. I could not have applied for any of these jobs had it not been for my decision to begin my Jewish journey, position on Colgate Jewish Union's executive board, times spent in Israel, and job at Michigan Hillel. I will have to re-strategize a bit for these new Hillel openings after realizing a few things while speaking with a regional director at Hillel Foundation.

The other thing I am learning from this process is not to underestimate my capabilities as a leader. I must take pride in what I have accomplished even though I always thought I should have done better. But those where the tasks I was assigned to and completed.

Lastly I want to say that I feel that my deafness or cochlear implant had no bearing on my ability to get a job or impress people. I was extremely surprised by how many people I was able to understand right away even though I have never heard their voices before. I used to have to meet people a few times in order to read their lips so that I could then understand their voices before going voice-only on the phone. I just think it's incredibly stunning because I still remember the time when I refused to talk on the phone or believed that I could only talk to my family members. I was deluded into thinking that as a deaf I should only rely on the TTY/Relay Service in order to communicate with the Hearing World. Clearly, I have proved myself wrong. Clearly I should have no fear in applying for jobs that will demand phone usage in which I had avoided in the past. Only one employer asked me directly about my position as a "deaf Jewish woman." I let it go only because A) I don't mind talking about my deafness and B) She actually knew my family and therefore already knew that I was doing well.

Onward to Week 8 of job-hunting.

Job Hunt Goals:
-Apply to 3 more Hillels
-Polish cover letter for a Museum... pretty long shot position
-Continue waiting on results of two job interviews

Productive Time Goals:
-Finish reading Princess: True Story of Life Behind a Veil in Saudi Arabia by Jean Sasson (it's quite.. chilling!)
-Pick out materials for scrapbooking for photos from my trip with Mom back in 2007 when we went to Espana (how embarrassing how we still haven't done anything!)
-Start GRE prep- take a verbal exam and focus on prefixes and suffixes

Didn't I already say that I'm not a fan of idle time?

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Israel in the Gardens 2010

I went last year to enjoy some good Israeli food (namely burekas), music, and company. It was jam packed. I had to wait a good while for my burekas. I totally passed up the falafel stands because there were about 40 people waiting. I could barely find a spot on the grass to sit. I had to push my way through the shopping and strolling crowds. About 20,000 showed up.

This year was a disappointment. Thanks to the recent flotilla incident, there were threats of more demonstrators showing up to protest. A friend made an approximate estimate that about 30-35% of the crowd failed to show up. It was clear that at least 5,000 people were missing. I was shocked. I thought if people would just muster their courage and march through those protestors, they would do their part by supporting Israel BY SHOWING UP.

I still felt the same cheer in the air but... it just didn't come as strongly as it did before. Zev and I didn't wait too long for our food. We were able to move around easily, maybe too easily for a place that's supposed to be packed with Jews and their goys.

At least my favorite contestant for the talent show won, after being a runner-up last year.

Still, if I was an organizer of this event, I would have pushed a PR campaign through Facebook and Twitter in the few days before the actual event to remind people that by showing up and supporting the entertainment and vendors, they were standing by Israel and defying the protesters.