Friday, March 12, 2010

Shut Up Boycotters... You Do This, You're Left with Nothing!

Clever post from anonymous in respond to UM-Dearborn's push for diverstment in Israeli activities.

Submitted by Texans for Israel (not verified) on March 12, 2010 - 2:59pm.

VIDEO: Before you boycott Israel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saeky9I5T9c

We at Texans for Israel would like to help interested students boycott Israel properly.

First, you need to get rid of your laptop. The Intel chip that allows it to run was developed in Israel. If you are really bent on taking down the awful war machine that happens to have the most museums per capita in the world, you must power down immediately. If you happen to have a PC, make sure it does not run a Windows operating system, because the three most recent were developed by Microsoft Israel.

If you are forced to use your computer, make sure you do not use AOL Instant Messenger, Gmail chat or any other instant-messaging system. The patents for these systems were developed in Israel, and we wouldn’t want to support that under any circumstances.

Next to go should be your cell phone. The first cell phones were developed in Israel, and it would be a tragedy if we made this a boycott of convenience. If we are really committed to bringing down the nation that produces more scientific papers per capita than any other country, we can’t be brought down by our imperialistic cell phones.

If you are concerned about the environment, boycotting Israel could be difficult. Many solar power plants use technology that was invented by Israelis, and many of them were even installed by these terrible people. On the upside, the increased fossil fuels you will use will support freedom fighters such as Hamas and al-Qaida who are dedicated to bringing down the evil country that has the most Ph.D.s per capita.

If you are a farmer, particularly in dry areas of Texas, do not use drip irrigation on your fields. This method of irrigation that saves thousands of gallons of water per year was developed in Israel.

If you go to a hospital, you are going to have to take many special precautions to ensure that you are not aiding Israel. If you have a gastrointestinal disease, make sure that the doctors do not use a “pill cam” to diagnose you, as these were developed in Israel. If you are going to be screened for breast cancer, make sure you request a method that uses plenty of radiation. The radiation-free scanning method was developed in Israel, and exposure to radiation is a small price to pay to take down the Jewish state.

If you are involved in any human rights issues on campus, boycotting Israel will be very difficult. Israel has the best women’s rights record in the Middle East and is the only country in the region in which gay marriages are recognized. Also, Israel is the only country in the region that offers asylum to Darfur refugees.

So there you have it. You are now armed with all the necessary information to destroy the country that has given us Bar Refaeli, Natalie Portman and voicemail. Good luck!

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