Haifa
(I guess I'm getting really tan, more than I'm willing to admit due flourscent lights when I look in the mirror)I escaped Jerusalem to spend 3 days in Haifa and lived with a real Israeli family- the kind of experience that American students get in Japan, Europe, and Latin America. The kind that don't speak a lot of English and make you homemade meals. The kind that invites you to family affairs and errands to different shuks. The kind with a mother who nags you to eat her food and finish it.
Basically, I visited Mor from when Grandma, Zev, and I visited Haifa back over Pesach vacation to see her before she leaves for America next Friday. She lives with her mother, Hadar, her father, Itach, her sisters, Liora and Or, and her brother, Danny. Danny was home for the weekend from the Army from his base in south of Tel Aviv. Liora is a first year student at Haifa University and Or is only in 10th grade. Mor is just finishing up her pre-Army university education at Haifa University. Itach used to run his own fix-it business before he changed into real estate. Now he owns apartments and rents them out. Hadar used to teach history before becoming a school principal. Now she is a stay-at-home mom.
Hadar and I developed an interesting relationship though it felt like I was walking on water at times because I had to balance my American and Israeli behavior- trying not to be the American that Israelis can't stand- the "superficial" and "hypocritical" person but at the same time, trying to be a courteous guest. But I also wanted to show her what an American is pretty much like- independent, polite, and respectful but not to go as far as fitting in the stereotype that Israelis view American as. It took quite some time before she started figuring out that I'm also independent and have my own opinions, actually not quite until today. I also didn't know what Israeli mothers were really like (though I do dearly hope that they're all not like that because I'd rather steal my future Israeli mother-in-law's son back with me to America than to deal with ones like Hadar) because all other whom I've met were Americans. She had also never really met an American before- they've never had an American stay with them. So we both learned a lot from each other and I'm afraid that I've scared her to death about the physical size of the country and the American culture. She was amazed and fearful when I gave her approxmiate hours of driving between Rochester to NYC and from NYC to the Poconos and from Rochester to Chicago and from NYC to San Francisco and showed her the Google map of the United States. 4-5 hours of driving isn't too bad for most people but anything over it is considered long. For the Israelis, 4 hours is far. Everything just seemed so far to her. She's one of those people whom you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
Nevertheless, she is a great cook- she made me Iraqi food. I enjoyed it.
But she literally piles my plate with food. Piles my plate. In addition to that, she also set out plates of more food on the table! My eyes were wide as saucers every time I came to the table. She always says in firm tone, "Come. Eat." and "You want more? " and "Why, you no like it?" And her children don't get the same treatment. I wanted very much to be treated equally. Finally, for my last meal when I saw tons of rice on my plate (and seriously hoping it was not for me though I knew it was). Then conversation went like this.
Hadar: This yours.Basically, I visited Mor from when Grandma, Zev, and I visited Haifa back over Pesach vacation to see her before she leaves for America next Friday. She lives with her mother, Hadar, her father, Itach, her sisters, Liora and Or, and her brother, Danny. Danny was home for the weekend from the Army from his base in south of Tel Aviv. Liora is a first year student at Haifa University and Or is only in 10th grade. Mor is just finishing up her pre-Army university education at Haifa University. Itach used to run his own fix-it business before he changed into real estate. Now he owns apartments and rents them out. Hadar used to teach history before becoming a school principal. Now she is a stay-at-home mom.
Hadar and I developed an interesting relationship though it felt like I was walking on water at times because I had to balance my American and Israeli behavior- trying not to be the American that Israelis can't stand- the "superficial" and "hypocritical" person but at the same time, trying to be a courteous guest. But I also wanted to show her what an American is pretty much like- independent, polite, and respectful but not to go as far as fitting in the stereotype that Israelis view American as. It took quite some time before she started figuring out that I'm also independent and have my own opinions, actually not quite until today. I also didn't know what Israeli mothers were really like (though I do dearly hope that they're all not like that because I'd rather steal my future Israeli mother-in-law's son back with me to America than to deal with ones like Hadar) because all other whom I've met were Americans. She had also never really met an American before- they've never had an American stay with them. So we both learned a lot from each other and I'm afraid that I've scared her to death about the physical size of the country and the American culture. She was amazed and fearful when I gave her approxmiate hours of driving between Rochester to NYC and from NYC to the Poconos and from Rochester to Chicago and from NYC to San Francisco and showed her the Google map of the United States. 4-5 hours of driving isn't too bad for most people but anything over it is considered long. For the Israelis, 4 hours is far. Everything just seemed so far to her. She's one of those people whom you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
Nevertheless, she is a great cook- she made me Iraqi food. I enjoyed it.
But she literally piles my plate with food. Piles my plate. In addition to that, she also set out plates of more food on the table! My eyes were wide as saucers every time I came to the table. She always says in firm tone, "Come. Eat." and "You want more? " and "Why, you no like it?" And her children don't get the same treatment. I wanted very much to be treated equally. Finally, for my last meal when I saw tons of rice on my plate (and seriously hoping it was not for me though I knew it was). Then conversation went like this.
Me: Mine? No, it's way too much food!!!
Hadar: It's yours. You need to eat. You need to get fat.
Me: Me? I don't want to get fat. It's your daughter, Or, who needs to eat. (I point to Or) Not me!
Hadar: It's good to be strong and fat. Now sit and have something.
Me: It's not good to be fat.... (mutters)
Of course, I didn't finish the meal and she didn't say anything more about me leaving a quarter of food behind on the plate. Oh.... it didn't quite end...
Hadar: You finish! (points to the platter of ground beef patties- delicious)
Me: No. I've had enough. I'm full (I discovered that it's the best way to tell her off)
Hadar: But don't you like it?
Me: Ken but I'd rather take them back with me- l'Yerushalayim. (She looks a little confused, the girls get what I mean and explained quickly in Hebrew)
Hadar: Ah, okay, that's good, I'll send you some back to Jerusalem!
And of course, she bought me a falafel sandwich with extra falafel without asking me if I wanted one when we were in a Druz village doing some bargain shopping for Mor to buy things to give in America. Of course, I didn't finish it- the falafels were terrible compared to Hadar's homemade from the day before. I chucked half of it without her looking at our next stop in an Israeli version of Costco/BJ's. And Mor didn't get one.
I know she enjoyed the challenge of having me- working on her English and she did teach me Hebrew and helped me pronounce words right.
And she said before I left that I should forget about ulpan and stay with her and learn Hebrew from her because she was a teacher and knows how to teach. Great idea- except two things: 1) I'm not going to be able to keep up with the food argument every day and 2) Their apartment isn't situation in a great location for running. And I'm going to need a social life with my friends in Jerusalem.
All the children spoke very good English. Hadar's accent was pretty good when it came to English except for new and more difficult words but she didn't know a whole lot judging from her grammar and vocabulary. Itach was the worst of them all. He had a very heavy accent and his English wasn't so good. The women told me that they could not understand him when he speaks English. I pointed out to Hadar that it's only because she's used to fluent, unaccented English like mine and the television. I reassured her that most Israeli students don't like to talk to each other in English and told her a story of a Hebrew U student who told me that he'd rather practice his espanol with me than with his Israeli peers and teacher because the Israeli accent isn't very pretty in other languages.
By the way, on Shabbat, we went down to Caeseara to visit Hadar's uncle's villa for a family affair. It was amazing- to see the entire Iraqi clan there with their children, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc, etc. They grilled tons of kebabs- beef and chicken and hotdogs and served different salads. We had Hadar's falafels for appeitzers with pitas and hummus. I saw Rakel- Zev's cousin in Herzliya. I actually called Zev at 6:30 AM in his time and said, "You have a special guest" and put Rakel on my cellphone. The villa was just absolutely stunning- I would have a very hard time believing that these houses in these neighborhoods "10 Minutes away from Israel" cost only 1 million dollars. Everything was just beautiful- the architecture and the kitchen. It had a small, open courtyard in the middle.
Nevertheless, let me put this weekend in perspective: Israeli overseas programs should seriously consider giving an option of homestays to the students. It's an unforgettable experience- you learn so much more than in a classroom and the Israelis learn more about English and America. Perhaps I will do an overnight in July...
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