What Does Being Jewish Mean?

From my readings for my AJ-IJ class:

From AJC (American Jewish Committee)'s essay contest in 2005 on what does being Jewish mean to you. Excerpts from several essays that striked me:

Every morning when I get to work, the first thing I do is surf the Web to nytimes.com. After quickly perusing the front page and checking last night's Yankees score, I head straight for the International section and read up on Israel. These days my ears are attuned toany mention of Jews, Israel, Hebrew, or scwarma. I find it difficult not to chime in when I hear a cowroker's skewed perspectives on Judaism or Middle East politics. Is this how i identify myself as being Jewish?... The answer is that being an American Jew in his or her twenties is defined by whatever we want it to be. Judaism is not a scientific construct and cannot be approached as such. For me being Jewish means lighting candles during Hanukka. It means calling up my mother to ask the meaning of a Yiddish phrase. It means complaining about the Yom Kippur semon even though it is the only one I will hear for another year. It means looking forward to matzo ball soup and a slightly inebriated but pleasantly boisterous interpretation of Had Gadya. It is family. It is tradition. And, yes, it is spirituality.

This is how I felt when I was living in America. That's written by a guy who has a MA in religious studies, made two trips to Israel, went to Jewish day school, and still goes to services only twice a year.

I was about to immerse myself in a Jewish society where Judaism is uniquely shaped, for better and for worse, by Israeli politics and Zionism... To him and other secular Israelis, making a cultural and Zionistic contribution to this country is as religious and as important as praying, upholding Jewish customs, or believing in God. For the last five years, I have been caught somewhere in the middle of Israel's spectrum of Judaism. I admit that, since living in the Jewish homeland, I've been more secular than at any other point in my life. But I've also been more proud, more aware, and more at ease with my Jewish identity than at any other point in my life. Where else does an entire country stand together in silence to recognize and remember those who perished in the Shoah?

That passage struck chord with my current attitude. It just felt right to agree with this woman who made aliyah. Since my family left, I've been examining myself as finding who I am as a Jew and an American living in an Israeli society where Judaism takes root. I spent two months settling in Israel, attempting to maintain my own "American" Jewish traditions with the exception of going to Shabbat services (no English transliteration texts here). Then my grandparents came for a month and I practically lived in an orthodox life due to Zev and the apartment rental. At the same time and after my whole family left, I have been connecting with the secular Israelis.

Now, I am looking at myself today after going through all the stages. Where am I comfortable? What am I comfortable doing? When do I want to recognize mysefl as Jewish? How can I maintain my own sense of identity? With whom do I want to be with? Why these choices?

(I know that by this point, Dane will be thinking "She's crazy!!!!" But hun, you told me to stop and ask questions every once in awhile, you know?)

I am being tested on my identity. A possible analogy for this would be the Asians. Nevertheless, I am thinking of these questions and wondering how to answer each of them rationally. And realize that I am living in an Israeli society and connecting with Israelis which are major influences right now.

I also have to look back on my attitude towards Judaism since I was a child. I did not have a Jewish friend until I met Helen (though just half-Jew) and that was when we were 13. My mom bribed me with a doughnut every Sunday morning on our way to Sunday school. Hebrew meant nothing to me (though I do remember learning the aleph-bet) because I thought English was the only language in the world. Israel was a dream or something out of the Torah. My parents only kept the High Holidays, Passover, and Chanukkah. The only time I felt "Jewish" was whenever I was with Grandma. I used to love going through a series of books that she had in the library of her house on Jewish holidays. Other than that, I did not want to identify myself as Jewish. Nobody else was Jewish that I could relate to. What was the point if I had to make the effort? Being Jewish was hard work to me and I didn't like it. Even saying the ha'motzi was just ugh.

Now I can say all the Shabbat prayers effortlessly. Hebrew is becoming a second nature. I love saying shabbat shalom to the venders at the shuk on Fridays. I don't feel guilty about not going to Shabbat services at all- nor the morning services. I immensely enjoy the national holidays as day-offs from school. Even if I don't even go anywhere, it feels right to enjoy the free day with other Jews without worrying about missing something at work or school. Everybody goes out together- both on religious and Israeli holidays. I don't enjoy the orthodox way of celebrating Shabbat. Sometimes I do roll my eyes over some things that the secular Israelis do and say because it seems unkosher for an American Jew. Nevertheless, living in Israel has given me new ideas and perspectives on how I can define myself as a Jew today. As I have said, I don't like to work hard to maintain my identity. The identity should be a natural part of self. Here, my Jewish identity feels natural, even if I have to work at my Hebrew (one day, it will be nearly fluent and that'd be the end of my worries).

I look around and see different contributions that people make to Israel to express their Judaism in a Jewish state in progressive ways. Some secular Israelis believe that giving 2-3 years of their life to the Army is enough that they don't feel the need to fulfill all the religious obligations- they defend the borders of the Jewish state. The olim made aliyah, fulfilling the dreams of the Zionists- to bring about a strong Jewish majority in a Jewish state. The religious contribute their stubborn stance on civil laws to ensure that Israel remains a real Jewish state. And the Americans? I often like to amuse myself that they just roll in the money.

What did I do today? Only those who can read Hebrew can follow my little essay:
היום שלו היה יופיץ אני נפגשתי גם סתודנתץ אתה בא לקולגט באבגוסתץ אנהנו אכלנו בבר קציצהץ היא היה נאהץ אנהנו ריברנו על ירדאל, יראשלים, קולגט, וישראלים מדברים באנגלית רה ועברתת שלנוץ היו רוצה להתנרב הצבאץ אני אמרה אותו לעשות את אחרי קולגט. אנהנו עושים חיים