Importance of Dialogue

Draft 3

Dane, this is not certainly related to your version of this title on your blog, but in some ways it is in terms of the dialogue and cultural understanding.

I caught Dane online couple days ago and commented on her blog about her final draft of a poem that I inspired her to write a while ago with my "What I have Told the USHMM..." post. We got into a discussion and she said that she found some of my blog entries "crazy" and "brainwashed." She asked about the theory about Bush keeping the US troops in Iraq to keep Iran away from Israel. Though I think it could be a good point but I told her it's the Israelis who gave me that perspective of the war on Iraq. She said that she has often gone off and ranted to her pro-Israel roommate about some of the things I've said. I think I've really opened her eyes to what Israel is really like- different than what her poetry suggests, the reality is different from her perception. She may think it's all crazy but it's education for both of us for me to be writing about my reflections on Israel.

She made me think, examine, and question. Her calling on my interactions with the Israelis "brainwashing" stung me and made me implore who I am right now. Also the way Dad told me that "it's time for [me] to come home" made me wonder if Israel has trapped me in a dream and it is time to face reality in America.

I wondered if I have lost the sense of who I am, my morals, my judgments to conform to the Israeli mindset and norms. Did I change? In some ways, yes in regards to Israel's security and politics and the people who ensure it. I shedded my old. typical American expectations and am currently creating new ones as someone who understands what to expect from the Israelis that are the norm here.

My most amazing experiences here are talking to the Israelis in my generation and to recently discharged soldiers. It's hard to believe that these people who were involved in combat can be human with feelings and honest opinions like the rest of the world despite the bashing and criticism by the media for being brutal, ruthless, and selfish. One soldier confided to me that he has never ever told his parents where his actual base is- in Gaza. His parents think he's in the Negev because he did not want them to worry every night about his safety and be able to sleep knowing that he is okay. I was almost floored that he would go so far to protect his family from mental distress.

One Israeli said to me very recently, "It seems like you're more involved with the Israelis than the Americans" after talking for a while and he felt that I was understanding him and his culture very well when we talked about the differences between American and Israeli girls and why he preferred to be with the Israelis (but taking me to an exception..). And that he could tell quickly enough that I am nothing like the American women Israeli men often see-generally easy, immature, and drunk.

To elaborate on this, sometimes conforming to the society's behavior and manner facilities the communication and flow between myself and them. Another high compliment in relation to the one I have gotten from a different Israeli is that s/he could see me as an Israeli if I lived here rather than an as "the American." I laughed (and felt nervous too) when I heard this because honestly, how can anyone see themselves as another nationality if they immigrated to another country? You are what you are from. On the other hand, s/he was suggesting that I would be accepted as part of the society, the big family. Thus, I am assimilating in the Israeli society.

As my parents know, once I have a couple of close friends, I'm pretty much satisfied with my life. So I do have close group of American girlfriends here to travel and to hang out with me and I am working on creating a social network of Israelis.... as much I love my American girls, I am not here to make more American friends. I am here to meet the Israelis.

This whole experience makes me very glad that I made the decision to be here on my own instead of in London with the Colgate group where I'd basically just be hanging out only with the Colgate people instead of meeting the Brits. I haven't even heard of anyone on a Colgate study group really make friends and connections with the locals.... too close-knit as you might say.

So Dad, is that the kind of tone you're suggesting that I need to come home? That Israel is sweeping me off my feet that you are not sure if this is the same daughter as you say good-bye three months ago? Am I wearing a pair of rose-colored glasses? .