An excerpt that I want to share from my personal statement:
Very often, I would look out to the beautiful landscape in Israel as I ride on the buses to and from Jerusalem and marvel how Israel rose from the ashes of the Holocaust. The kibbutzim often symbolize the rebirth of the Jews, particularly the small, secluded ones in the valleys. I soak up the long, peaceful coastline by riding horses and walking barefoot in the sand, allowing the European Jews to live through me because they never felt content in their hostile, tense environments. Every time I see Tel Aviv’s beaches from my seat on the plane, I cry freely for the victims of the Holocaust because they never approached these shores and I had the fortune to do so.
I had a choice between studying in Prague and in Israel and for a long time, I thought I would go to Prague. After all, Hitler preserved the history of Eastern European Jewry in Prague and I could be close to the former lands of the Eastern European Jewry and where the Holocaust happened. Instead, I chose Israel where I could learn Hebrew and live voraciously for the Eastern European Jews. In addition, my senior thesis involved comparing the American Jewish and Israeli Jewish perspectives of the Holocaust and visiting Israel became necessary to complete the research on the latter. Not once have I regretted being here and I contribute to my internships with the USHMM for playing a role in this decision.
This does seem out of blue in contrary what I've been doing. I've just been in shock by my friend's blog in Prague. She had just been in Auschwitz and ran into 500 Israelis and seeing their spirit and presence did not make her feel better about being at Auschwitz, let alone even consider the fact that Israel is a symbol that Hitler's plot to kill world Jewry failed. I had to write her a sobering note as follows:
Dearest Dane-
When I first read this, there were no specific words for me to describe my reaction to your reaction at Auschwitz and seeing the Israelis. I had to get away and collect myself before I could read the post again.
First of all, Auschwitz is a very difficult place, even if a person thought s/he was well prepared to handle it. Everyone expresses their feelings differently. There's no right or wrong way to do it. Certainly, the Israelis' behavior shouldn't be judged.
Second, that was the March of the Living that you just witnessed and it's vert typical for the Israelis to wear the flags as they walk down the railroad tracks. Even I have a March of the Living book at home with a cover picture of two people wearing the flag as their capes. Those participants tend to be 16-17 year olds and not mature yet by the Army. You're 20 and you've had 2 1/2 years of college/adult life behind you.
Lastly, your mother and others have made an excellent point of how the Israelis view their trip to Poland. They have a spiritual connection with the place, Israel rose out of the Holocaust. Visiting Poland gives them an extra push for a reason to defend the Jewish state and get in that mentality for the Army. It is one of the reasons why I have such a connection with this country- I studied the Holocaust since I was a child so for me, it was the reverse. The Israelis felt connected to Poland because of their country's past immigration history. I felt connected to Israel because of my Holocaust experience. Think about how Israel's history affects their perspective, you took that Arab-Israeli Conflict class. The Israelis I know who visited Poland felt very much the same way as you did- came out very sobered by their experience. Their flags are simply reminders of their place and position in history.
Sometimes I question your decision to be in Prague. I know the experience is doing wonders and opening up your mind to other things more than you could ever expect (even though I know that you're very open-minded to a lot of things as you have to be in Northampton). But it's your spirited personality that makes me concerned. While you are not currently able to see yourself in Israel because of your beliefs, I think so much about the stark contrast between our lives and my reason for studying in Israel. I wrote to the USHMM in my personal statement that I chose Israel over Prague because I felt that I should choose life over death and live for the Holocaust victims rather than be *stuck* in Eastern Europe. And Dane, you, of all the people I know, surprised me that you chose the latter even though we have our historical roots in Eastern Europe. The grass is always green here. Nevertheless, I am glad that you are making the most of your study abroad experience in Prague- probably even more so than if I had been there with you instead of being in Israel.This was difficult for me to write coherently and in a non-judgmental way because of my initial reactions and current position in Israel. Please accept (or not) as it is.
Love and hugs unconditionally,
Sara
She may not talk to me for a bit after this but being abroad with her at the same time in two very different places in terms of historical representation to our Jewish identities has really been enriching for me and hopefully, her too as she reads my blog. We have different perspectives on what it means to be a Jew and how to connect with Judaism but we try to be clear and neutral in our descriptions of places we saw and people we meet, and how they could influence us.
These excerpts make me think about Zionism in some way. There are two different kinds of Jews in this world, perhaps according to the American-Israeli relationship: One's a wealthy, physically weak Jew (aka American Jews) and the other's a strong, poor Jew (Israeli Jews). The American Jews poured (and still do today) money in Israel to help with its Jewish funds while the Israeli Jews take the responsiblity to guard its boundaries against the Arabs and others. You've got that American Big Business era analogy there with the American Jew being Rockefeller or JP Morgan reeling in the money and making investments in its interests while the Israeli Jew supervise the interests and ensure its security and efficiency.
For me, I see myself as the latter. I feel very rich when I am physically in a place where I can feel spiritually connected and loved by its land and people like why I chose leave Smith to be at Colgate (despite the fact that the place was deserted when Dad and I visited when I was applying for transfer- it just felt right to be there). I'd rather toil the land or serving the Army knowing that my phyiscal position would have a purpose rather than aimlessly drop a dollar in those little envelopes that synagogues leave on chairs during the High Holidays.
Israel is my place to be today's Jew in this black-and-white argument.
2 comments:
Sara,
I don't stop speaking to people when I'm angry - stopping dialog is no way to reach peace. And your letter didn't make me angry - it made me frustrated. And, I suppose, intrigued. Unlike many of the kids on my program, for me, it wasn't a choice between Prague and Israel - I decided several years ago that I didn't want to study in Israel. It had nothing to do with choosing death over life, but with the desire to prove to myself that Eastern European (and Central European) Jewry is *not* just about death and pogroms and persecution.
The Jews had an entire Hashkalah, enlightenment, complete with writings, famous rabbis, and intellectual vibrancy. Ever read about Rabbi Chaim of Volozhin? How about Rabbi Lev? And where did this life, this enlightenment happen? Hundreds of miles from the Kotel - in Poland!
If I have learned anything here, it is that the past seventy years can not, do not, and should not negate the hundreds of years of Jewish existence in Eastern Europe. Similarly, Israel is far from the ideal Jewish existence. Just because some Jews are exercising their right to be nationalistic does not mean that Jews are not being persecuted, nor does it exempt Jews from persecuting others.
As a friend said, our generation is still grieving. Perhaps supporting Israel is a coping mechanism, a comfort. But it is the lack of criticism and analysis from a highly intellectual scholar, the way you refuse to question your own beliefs that leaves me frustrated and angry.
And yet, Sara, despite all of this, I want you to know that I do support Israel. I *do* believe in a place for Jews to live safely, I do believe that Jews have a right to live near our holiest places. I do love Israel. I know what it feels like to be in a plane full of people singing Hatikvah, to feel that resonance, that special Israel feeling deep in your bones, the inexplicable pride.
I know this. And still I question, I examine, I criticize. I implore you to do the same.
And finally, I want to thank you. I think your letter may shake a poem out of me, and I'm always grateful for inspiration.
~D
One more thing - when you say that there are only two kinds of Jews in today's world, I think you are absolutely incorrect. Those may be the only kinds of Jews you've encountered, but what about the Abayudaya, the Ugandan Jews? Where do they fit in? The Ethiopian Jews? The Iranian Jews, or other Mizrachi? What about the half-Jews?
Are antizionist Jews still Jews? Do they count?
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