I'm officially booked for my trip back to Israel! I'm leaving JFK on January 2nd and getting into Tel Aviv on the 3rd. Then I'm staying until the 15th.
Now I can put all that anxiety behind me and concentrate on my schoolwork.
It's going to be interesting to see how it all will feel. I'm not going to expect anything except good times with my friends and families. Well, I do expect a little smitach craziness in Jerusalem but who's complaining? I'm already aware of all the changes that's happened- Mor's in the Army, Shiri will be on her way, Melissa might get engaged, etc, etc. But I'm happy for all of them.
Cliche, I know, but I always feel good when I think about Israel because I really do feel that it's my home. It's that yearning feeling. I tried to point out with my old Israeli boyfriend that Israel's my home and I will get there eventually but there are some things that I have to do first perhaps like getting my PhD. I mean, I finally got my iTunes working after some downtime with the laptop being reformatted today and listened to some of my Israeli songs that I hadn't heard in weeks. How I missed all the Hebrew! Also I had debated whether to do the alternative winter break trip with Hillel in Israel but decided against it. I don't think it'll work for me... I just won't be able to share that connection with them.
I mean... when we haf several Ethiopian Israelis visiting a couple weeks ago, I just felt a bit apathetic- not that I didn't care about what they had to present but it's just not totally exciting and new to me because I've already met Ethiopians and heard their stories in Israel. I only felt instant comfort as in, "Cool. Good to meet you. What's new?" Like we've already met.
Oh, I'm entering in some pictures for a photo contest that the Study Abroad office's hosting.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Taglit Birthright
Since writing that post, I've been constantly thinking about my connection and experiences in Israel- both living and Taglit. I had a long phone conversation with Zev and exchanged a couple of e-mails with Allie ('07 at Tel Aviv Univ. now) trying to figure out how to connect with other Americans who have been to Israel. It's literally impossible because I know the full extent of what it means to be living in Israel and knowing the Israelis.
Allie wrote to me when I asked about her changing feelings about her past experiences:
I did feel very different when I studied abroad versus being on birthright. And honestly, I feel much different now. When I was abroad I felt like I was living in Israel, but now I really feel like I'm living a true Israeli life in Israel. I didn't have to worry about going to the bank, going to the municipality, paying rent and bills, etc etc. in Haifa. Now I do, and let me tell you it's not easy! Every step you take in Israel is going to feel different, and they are all awesome.
The major criticism that I have for Taglit trips is that they did not prepare me at all for the complex issues in the Israeli society and of course, the Israelis themselves. I remember feeling disoriented and discouraged at times- as if "What the heck am I doing here?" But I kept my chin up and moved on. I had the most amazing experience of my life that I related in my hairy Watson Fellowship interview. What does bother me about these trips as I looked back and as one sociologist describes is that Israel's landscape is being used as a "backdrop" for mission trips for the Diaspora Jews. It's wonderful that Poland and Israel are benefiting from the tourism but I think that the trips should include more interactions with the Israelis. Try understand what it means to be Jewish and you'd be so surprised by the Israelis' opinions. It's hard to view them as your brothers and sisters but they are. They just have different ways of expressing Judaism that the movements in the US don't tell you about. I hate it when I hear of American Jews complaining that the Israelis are too *different* but so what? As Grandma says, life would be boring if everyone was all the same.
I also realize how different I am now- I've become more protective about Israel's image. Every little thing relating to Israel here ticks me off, I just go to the events to make sure that Israel is being protrayed accurately and fairly. I try to raise questions that aren't overly complex but revealing something about the Israeli society to the rest of the audience. But sometimes it's better to be quiet rather try to argue with the people becaise they weren't there. Also, it's hard to connect and to relate when someone gushes about their birthright trip (or just says that it was an awesome trip). For me, you don't get it.
Nevertheless, I will say that if I had to give advice to someone going on one of these mission trips, I'd tell them that they're in for a very long haul. Once they get more involved with Israel beyond their trip, the trip will become a pretty small piece of a 1,000,000 piece puzzle.
Allie wrote to me when I asked about her changing feelings about her past experiences:
I did feel very different when I studied abroad versus being on birthright. And honestly, I feel much different now. When I was abroad I felt like I was living in Israel, but now I really feel like I'm living a true Israeli life in Israel. I didn't have to worry about going to the bank, going to the municipality, paying rent and bills, etc etc. in Haifa. Now I do, and let me tell you it's not easy! Every step you take in Israel is going to feel different, and they are all awesome.
The major criticism that I have for Taglit trips is that they did not prepare me at all for the complex issues in the Israeli society and of course, the Israelis themselves. I remember feeling disoriented and discouraged at times- as if "What the heck am I doing here?" But I kept my chin up and moved on. I had the most amazing experience of my life that I related in my hairy Watson Fellowship interview. What does bother me about these trips as I looked back and as one sociologist describes is that Israel's landscape is being used as a "backdrop" for mission trips for the Diaspora Jews. It's wonderful that Poland and Israel are benefiting from the tourism but I think that the trips should include more interactions with the Israelis. Try understand what it means to be Jewish and you'd be so surprised by the Israelis' opinions. It's hard to view them as your brothers and sisters but they are. They just have different ways of expressing Judaism that the movements in the US don't tell you about. I hate it when I hear of American Jews complaining that the Israelis are too *different* but so what? As Grandma says, life would be boring if everyone was all the same.
I also realize how different I am now- I've become more protective about Israel's image. Every little thing relating to Israel here ticks me off, I just go to the events to make sure that Israel is being protrayed accurately and fairly. I try to raise questions that aren't overly complex but revealing something about the Israeli society to the rest of the audience. But sometimes it's better to be quiet rather try to argue with the people becaise they weren't there. Also, it's hard to connect and to relate when someone gushes about their birthright trip (or just says that it was an awesome trip). For me, you don't get it.
Nevertheless, I will say that if I had to give advice to someone going on one of these mission trips, I'd tell them that they're in for a very long haul. Once they get more involved with Israel beyond their trip, the trip will become a pretty small piece of a 1,000,000 piece puzzle.
Monday, October 8, 2007
NYT Article (10/8)
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/08/nyregion/08birthright.html?em&ex=1191988800&en=0c15c58660b1eb91&ei=5087
Un-be-liev-a-ble. I certainly have read much stronger articles regarding Taglit than this. I could yawn at this because the author seemed to miss his point entirely and should've aligned it differently. Okay, so that woman returned to Israel- what did she do? Big deal about hanging out at Steinhardt's mansion for a cocktail. *insert sarcasm* Did he asked the tatooed woman when she did get that Star of David tattoo and why? The journalist obviously didn't bother to include revealing details about how these interviewees' lives were altered by their birthright trip.
If a careful reader also saw the article in Section A about religion and farming in Israel, she might disregard Santos' birthright article in the Metro section (B). Honestly, what is NYT trying to aim here? You've got the religious/farmers controversy revealing that Jerusalem is the "poorest" city in Israel (certainly not the housing market) and the haredim refusing to buy Jewish-grown produce on Jewish-owned land and will only buy imported produce from the Gaza and West Bank by the Palestinians. You've got the head rabbis locked in a debate over what to do about the double/triple costs of the produce. Lawyers are busy negotiating contracts so that Jewish farmers don't actually own the land but will get them back within a year. It certainly also reveals how Jerusalem is heading more to the right as even the market down in secular Emek Refaim buying produce grown by gentiles. (Course, what could he do?) For many of the haredim, they're willing to be dirt poor as church mice (or is it temple mice?) over saving a couple of sheklim.
So back to Santos' article, do the kids on birthright trips know about this? No. I've seen a couple of travel plans for different trips and they don't really address much to the domestic issues. I remember the major issues of my birthright trip: a reporter from J-Post talking about disengagement in 2005, the soldiers about the Army, kibbutz and history lectures, and "what it means to be Jewish" group discussions. The birthright trips certainly are double-edged. On one hand, they're exposing young Jews to Judaism through travel to a Jewish state to experience the "comfort" feeling of being the majority. That's the aim really. On the other hand, if the foundation is going to make a huge investment in Israel, they should give back by educating the participants about the domestic issues affecting Israel as a state. It's not just the Arabs threatened to destroy Israel's democracy but also the factions inside Israel who don't believe in a Zionist state too. They're essentially harming the government and economy with their fanatic religious beliefs and unwillingness to serve the state as citizens by paying reasonable taxes and serving in the Army.
Nowadays, Israel is not a Disney World for the Jews. The best way to bring back the magic is if you can explore every ups and downs of every ride that makes the world go round. In other ways, adapt to the culture there- it's not what you think. I wouldn't go as far comparing this to the Stepford Wives.....
Un-be-liev-a-ble. I certainly have read much stronger articles regarding Taglit than this. I could yawn at this because the author seemed to miss his point entirely and should've aligned it differently. Okay, so that woman returned to Israel- what did she do? Big deal about hanging out at Steinhardt's mansion for a cocktail. *insert sarcasm* Did he asked the tatooed woman when she did get that Star of David tattoo and why? The journalist obviously didn't bother to include revealing details about how these interviewees' lives were altered by their birthright trip.
If a careful reader also saw the article in Section A about religion and farming in Israel, she might disregard Santos' birthright article in the Metro section (B). Honestly, what is NYT trying to aim here? You've got the religious/farmers controversy revealing that Jerusalem is the "poorest" city in Israel (certainly not the housing market) and the haredim refusing to buy Jewish-grown produce on Jewish-owned land and will only buy imported produce from the Gaza and West Bank by the Palestinians. You've got the head rabbis locked in a debate over what to do about the double/triple costs of the produce. Lawyers are busy negotiating contracts so that Jewish farmers don't actually own the land but will get them back within a year. It certainly also reveals how Jerusalem is heading more to the right as even the market down in secular Emek Refaim buying produce grown by gentiles. (Course, what could he do?) For many of the haredim, they're willing to be dirt poor as church mice (or is it temple mice?) over saving a couple of sheklim.
So back to Santos' article, do the kids on birthright trips know about this? No. I've seen a couple of travel plans for different trips and they don't really address much to the domestic issues. I remember the major issues of my birthright trip: a reporter from J-Post talking about disengagement in 2005, the soldiers about the Army, kibbutz and history lectures, and "what it means to be Jewish" group discussions. The birthright trips certainly are double-edged. On one hand, they're exposing young Jews to Judaism through travel to a Jewish state to experience the "comfort" feeling of being the majority. That's the aim really. On the other hand, if the foundation is going to make a huge investment in Israel, they should give back by educating the participants about the domestic issues affecting Israel as a state. It's not just the Arabs threatened to destroy Israel's democracy but also the factions inside Israel who don't believe in a Zionist state too. They're essentially harming the government and economy with their fanatic religious beliefs and unwillingness to serve the state as citizens by paying reasonable taxes and serving in the Army.
Nowadays, Israel is not a Disney World for the Jews. The best way to bring back the magic is if you can explore every ups and downs of every ride that makes the world go round. In other ways, adapt to the culture there- it's not what you think. I wouldn't go as far comparing this to the Stepford Wives.....
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Yom Kippur
It took on a different meaning for me this year. I did not understand what this holiday meant to me until I was seventeen when I desperately searched for forgiveness for my tragic car accident. After reciting the prayers and geniunely praying for the first time in my life, I felt renewed, forgiven, and reassured that life will go on.
This year, I felt something else. 95% of my attention was on the Hebrew side of my prayer book. Perhaps a deeper connection with the Torah because I finally understood the language? I used to believe that Hebrew was a dead language and it meant nothing. Now sitting and standing there with my prayer book, the Hebrew script seem so much prevalent to my eyes as if it was suddenly magnified, leaving the English side completely blurred and ignored. To me, it was "Wow! I'm actually reading this and understanding it as if this was a gateway to the Torah and the stories." It's obvious, I know. But you must understand the trauma that I went through as a child. I also paid deep attention to the vocabulary and grammar even though I know it's mostly Biblical Hebrew.
Yom Kippur this year meant forgiveness from Adonai for rejecting Hebrew because I finally explored and studied it and Adonai's offer to me to use the Hebrew version of the prayer book to gain His forgiveness. Israel was my guardian in seeing this because if I wanted to study there, I had to study Hebrew without complaint.
Nevertheless, the heavy immersion in Hebrew in the past two days ripped a couple of stitches off my deep psychological scar that I received from Israel because I missed Israel and its intensity so much. I also had to write a couple of essays for a fellowship about my experience in Israel and that also pulled off a few more. Who knows, maybe I'm depressed. It could explain why I've been so tired ever since I came back and not always waking up refreshed.
This year, I felt something else. 95% of my attention was on the Hebrew side of my prayer book. Perhaps a deeper connection with the Torah because I finally understood the language? I used to believe that Hebrew was a dead language and it meant nothing. Now sitting and standing there with my prayer book, the Hebrew script seem so much prevalent to my eyes as if it was suddenly magnified, leaving the English side completely blurred and ignored. To me, it was "Wow! I'm actually reading this and understanding it as if this was a gateway to the Torah and the stories." It's obvious, I know. But you must understand the trauma that I went through as a child. I also paid deep attention to the vocabulary and grammar even though I know it's mostly Biblical Hebrew.
Yom Kippur this year meant forgiveness from Adonai for rejecting Hebrew because I finally explored and studied it and Adonai's offer to me to use the Hebrew version of the prayer book to gain His forgiveness. Israel was my guardian in seeing this because if I wanted to study there, I had to study Hebrew without complaint.
Nevertheless, the heavy immersion in Hebrew in the past two days ripped a couple of stitches off my deep psychological scar that I received from Israel because I missed Israel and its intensity so much. I also had to write a couple of essays for a fellowship about my experience in Israel and that also pulled off a few more. Who knows, maybe I'm depressed. It could explain why I've been so tired ever since I came back and not always waking up refreshed.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Rosh Hashanah
Spending Rosh Hashanah with my family, including Grandma and Zev, was very nice. Instead of going to the services on Friday night, we simply had a nice dinner of brisket from Wegmans (though I thought Mom's was much better). That was the first Rosh Hashanah that I have in my memory that my family skipped the evening services. I was uncomfortable at first because I wanted to get my hands on the Hebrew prayer book and read it in Hebrew, let my new knowledge open up the mystery of the language in there.
The morning services changed my opinion. While I was kind of able to follow the cantorial singing in Hebrew, I had a horrible time placing my finger on the Torah and Haftarah portions in my book. The pronounciation was mostly off and without understanding. Zev and I cringed and muttered the portion to ourselves quietly. I kept looking over to Zev's book to see if he could figure out where we were..half the time...
To hear Americans read and speak in Hebrew really woke me up. I gained a greater respect and appreciation for the Israelis who really do understand the language, even though we're all Jews. The Israelis are special. They deserve a lot of credit... Learning Hebrew takes a lot of patience to do it right. My only wish is that if the Israelis really heard how "well" Americans speak Hebrew, then they would be more willing to work with the Americans on their Hebrew. The rabbis also deserve some credit because they do have to study the Torah, which involves learning the language and being able to chant it right. I also realize the difference in American and Israeli pronounciation, especially with the kaf, rash, and the stresses on the plural form.
Even though Israelis are the native speakers of this old language, does it make them the "experts" on its usage? You could argue that it's an accent thing. Then, well, if they are the native speakers and Hebrew has beens spoken in that land, then isn't Israeli Hebrew the real deal? That any student learning Hebrew, anywhere in the world, should learn Israeli Hebrew? Or should I call it just Hebrew because that's the way to speak it if the Israelis set the standard?
I e-mailed my Hebrew teacher about my experience. She responded that some people might've confused some of the words with Yiddish pronounciation or mostly just the accent. Confusion with Yiddish? Maybe for the old folks!
Nevertheless, I smiled as I read my prayer book, solely in Hebrew, realizing that what I thought was impossible was possible.
When I ran my half-marathon yesterday, the course and the pain that I endured in my full marathon a year ago was much less. Even though I ran faster this time around (9:07 minute/mile compared to 9:47 min/mile), the race itself felt great, effortless and enjoyable. My dad reasoned that he didn't need to see me cross the finish line because it would be an easy race for me compared to my marathon. Though there were challenging times on the course, I thought about what I endured during my marathon- the feeling of hitting 18-21 mile marks, the monotone setting along the water (yes it gets boring after a while), and the constant loneliness and need to monitor my health- all of these were trivial in this half-marathon. It was eerie for me to see the Mile 21 marker when my route merged with the full marathon's because I knew what it took just to get there. A lot of will and drive. And sacrifice.
So use that analogy for my Hebrew learning experience. At first all the learning seems scary but if you hit it hard upfront, no matter how inexperienced you are, you'll gain a lot. All other races will seem quite easy later. The learning becomes more enjoyable because you've endured the toughest test: the intensity of training.
And I think I'm supposed to be studying a bit for my Wednesday's small oral conversational talk in the morning....yikes!
The morning services changed my opinion. While I was kind of able to follow the cantorial singing in Hebrew, I had a horrible time placing my finger on the Torah and Haftarah portions in my book. The pronounciation was mostly off and without understanding. Zev and I cringed and muttered the portion to ourselves quietly. I kept looking over to Zev's book to see if he could figure out where we were..half the time...
To hear Americans read and speak in Hebrew really woke me up. I gained a greater respect and appreciation for the Israelis who really do understand the language, even though we're all Jews. The Israelis are special. They deserve a lot of credit... Learning Hebrew takes a lot of patience to do it right. My only wish is that if the Israelis really heard how "well" Americans speak Hebrew, then they would be more willing to work with the Americans on their Hebrew. The rabbis also deserve some credit because they do have to study the Torah, which involves learning the language and being able to chant it right. I also realize the difference in American and Israeli pronounciation, especially with the kaf, rash, and the stresses on the plural form.
Even though Israelis are the native speakers of this old language, does it make them the "experts" on its usage? You could argue that it's an accent thing. Then, well, if they are the native speakers and Hebrew has beens spoken in that land, then isn't Israeli Hebrew the real deal? That any student learning Hebrew, anywhere in the world, should learn Israeli Hebrew? Or should I call it just Hebrew because that's the way to speak it if the Israelis set the standard?
I e-mailed my Hebrew teacher about my experience. She responded that some people might've confused some of the words with Yiddish pronounciation or mostly just the accent. Confusion with Yiddish? Maybe for the old folks!
Nevertheless, I smiled as I read my prayer book, solely in Hebrew, realizing that what I thought was impossible was possible.
When I ran my half-marathon yesterday, the course and the pain that I endured in my full marathon a year ago was much less. Even though I ran faster this time around (9:07 minute/mile compared to 9:47 min/mile), the race itself felt great, effortless and enjoyable. My dad reasoned that he didn't need to see me cross the finish line because it would be an easy race for me compared to my marathon. Though there were challenging times on the course, I thought about what I endured during my marathon- the feeling of hitting 18-21 mile marks, the monotone setting along the water (yes it gets boring after a while), and the constant loneliness and need to monitor my health- all of these were trivial in this half-marathon. It was eerie for me to see the Mile 21 marker when my route merged with the full marathon's because I knew what it took just to get there. A lot of will and drive. And sacrifice.
So use that analogy for my Hebrew learning experience. At first all the learning seems scary but if you hit it hard upfront, no matter how inexperienced you are, you'll gain a lot. All other races will seem quite easy later. The learning becomes more enjoyable because you've endured the toughest test: the intensity of training.
And I think I'm supposed to be studying a bit for my Wednesday's small oral conversational talk in the morning....yikes!
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